Regnum Christi Alapitvany ..::.. Upcoming events

J.I: I came here with the sence of being very distant from God lately and I did not know why. I have had many experiences with God, and I also felt it here last night that the Holy Spirit fills me. Many things had to happen in order to realize that I have to give my life to God again and again. I got the answer to the question why I feel myself so distant from God: it is my sinful nature; and it really matters what kind of community I was part of, what kind of people I let myself be surrounded with lately.
I was pretty blind because I tried to get close to God, but my strength was not enough, and I really felt stuck. Here I was able to find out what this jam was. I am very grateful to God for opening my eyes, and it was nice to experience that today I have received new brothers, new family members; the community has a very important role.

K.R. I`ve noticed from the very first day that I had already heard these thing many times before, because I attended pilgrimages, groups of young people and other spiritual exercises. But I asked God to give me an open heart so that I could go home spiritually enriched. Although I said on Friday, that I already know these, but God has touched me deeply by the means of an exercise, and then I felt that something started in me, and no matter how strange it sounds, I had to realize that it was exactly those exercises I abstained from at first that opened my heart. I’ve learned that everything is so simple, also the things we heard here at the Philip course, that the most essential thing is to make a decision. We can’t serve two masters, we have to decide whom we serve, and we can’t be lukewarm. Now I am still full of fear, given that the course will end and what will happen to me after that, but I don’t give up so easily, and I hope that if the Good God enters my heart, He will stay there.

B.O: I came here with a huge question mark, weather God loved me if I was a sinner? It was good to experience, that He loves me indeed even if I am sinful. I belong to a community; I can not say I'm an active member, but I feel I'm able to find a family there. I feel I can be more open to other people since I’ve been attending the group.

T.M.Cs: I started walking on this way about a year ago, and then someone told me that he saw a great opportunity in me, and if I really start walking this way, I'll be like a rocket. Since then, I feel I have experienced many things. My life has changed 180 degrees, and I would not have thought I would be here standing in front of the people, speaking, because I was very shy and uncooperative. I still struggle with this, but I'm about to overcome it and be more open. I'd like to start a group of young people, I'd like to help others, volunteer in the camps.
Someone once told me that my sails are not yet high. I feel that this course helped me to set the direction, and from the beginning of the next year I will hoist the sails and set on my jurney.

Inner Healing Course - Dealu, 29 Nov. - 2 Dec., 2018.

H.M.: It was new for me that I must reconcile myself with God. I may have heard of this earlier, but now it touched me deeper. Forgiveness was not a problem for me, it was easy for me to forgive everyone. I felt that I could never be angry with someone for days, months or years, still the namelist got longer and longer, and I got surprised how many people ther are whom I need to forgive. It was not hard for me, but when I was thinking about the things I should forgive, then, interestingly, besides the ones on the list, I remembered about two or three new ones during the prayer.

S.M.: I discovered that I was an unplanned child, that's why I was so introvert, I did not like to talk and I underappreciated myself. But my parents loved me, and I was my grandparent`s favorite.
I can forgive everybody no matter how much he hurt me, yet there was a person who made my stomach turn upside down if I saw him, despite the fact that I forgave him.
Today, however, when I met with that person, it was so good to find that I did not feel nervous. Here in the course I opened my heart, I left everything aside, and I have peace in God.

N.E.: I noticed a novelty here and it was about lead casting as an occult practice to find out illnesses and tribulations: More than 10 years ago I went to an occultist to pour lead for my daughter, and last week I happened to find it, because I’ve been keeping it since then, but now I threw it out. I just realized how much grace I received from God, because He forgave me this trespass, He cut off the occult ties, and it’s no coincidence, that I had thrown that thing out last week. I’ve been liberated from all it’s burden. Forgiveness went quite easy and I felt freedom, I felt a great love, at home I kissed everyone in turn. My parents were not there, but I felt that I want to tell them that I love them; I didn`t do this for a very long time.

M.T. It was a new recognition to me that I am maximalist, I recognized myself when they listed the characteristics of a maximalist, but an even greater realization was how much harm I caused to myself and to those I love. Probably I`ve hurt my daughter already, who certainly took this trait from me and takes it into her own family. It was a painful thought that I caused injuries without being aware of this. I also realized that although I had no intention of telling curses, still in a certain situation I said to my daughter: " I wish you had a child who would treat you like you treated me, so that you’d be able to feel what I feel." I did not want her death, or I did not utter words of curse, but still I wanted something bad for her. The good news for me is that God is the one who heals me from these things, it is not me healing myself through my own powers, because I couldn’t even do it. In relation to a certain person, I thought I had forgiven him, but the pain came back to the surface, and because he stirred up strong emotions, I realized that it was not all right yet. It has been difficult for me to forgive myself, but it is a process that has begun.

B.M.: Here in the course I realized that I’ve been so much taken care of, since I was not aware of the fact that where the occult things lead or what they can bring in my life, yet many things of this kind which I was involved in, gradually were left behind. I thought things started to become bad from the moment I became rational, and I made the wrong decisions, I did not think that I got injuries since the fetal period in my mother's womb. I was an unwanted child because my parents would have liked a boy, so starting with this, the chain began to get mired, and all that happened eventually brought forth the fruit that is not quite sweet. When it comes to forgiveness, I can forgive easily, I never felt resentment towards someone, yet there were people who hurt me and a thorn remained in my heart, and they might not have caused such a big wound next time, but there had already been the previous one, which I thought to be no longer there. A harder thing for me was to forgive myself, because I thought that everything that comes in life, including bad things, was my portion, because I am the way I am, it is what I deserve. I am shure now that I’m called to live in love and not to endure the things I’m experiencing day by day.

Inner Healing Course - Cluj-Napoca, 25-28. October, 2018.

B. B: I have been confronted with the fact that there are so many troubles and soul wounds buried in me, and I told myself about these thet I am not upset about the people concerned, these things are past now, I have already forgotten them. But when I listened to the lectures, I became aware that there are certain things that bother me, and I really should write them down. Those things were still buried there inside, and they suffocated me. I realized I needed to reveal them to myself and God. I could hardly wait to have some inner healing, to sit down and talk about my problems, for I felt these days that I was suffocating, and I felt very tired. And what I see on the very first day written on the notebook? It was from Matthew 11.28: " Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I went home happily on the very first night. Now I feel that I have a lot of strength in me, but I know that this strength comes from Christ, and I have to keep it somehow, I have to ask Him to stay in me, because I am not able by myself. I could easily fall into my pre-existing state, so I have to take great care of this on my way with God.

S. B.: Prior to this course, I did not really understand what the soul wound was. I thought the soul wound is when someone hurts you or tells you bad words, and you feel you're offended. During the conversation with the person who helped me in the inner healing it appeared that I should forgive a particular person: a priest who refused to baptize me when my parents asked for it. I was thinking, why should I forgive Him if I'm not angry with him, and I do not even feel that I was hurt for this reason. But this really is a soul wound, and so I understand that you do not have to hurt yourself to have an inner wound. Another case happened to me with my godfather, and it was very difficult for me to forgive him. Because since then there was a picture alive in me that I am always forgotten and left alone all over the places, I will never have a partner in my life, I will remain single, and even if I will have somebody, he won’t care about me anyway, but he will leave me all alone. But I realized that this was a lie.

U. H.: The greatest thing I understood is that God does not leave me and does not let me suffocate in my wounds and all the negative things that have gathered over the years, and He helps me to identify them and show me the way and the solving not just about the past but also about my future. He showed me, for example, that I must forgive, it is not enough that I do not feel anger. It was hard for me to forgive my father because he was an alcoholic, he died five years ago, and now I can not discuss it with him personally. How important it is to be aware of this and to forgive. And of course not only him. I am very glad that I had the opportunity to take this step, and that I could leave self-pity, because usually there is that year of mourning, but that year was nothing for me, it hurt the same even after, I felt the same feelings coming up in me again and again, and inside I blamed God for the life I had, and why it had to happen to me. I had many defensive mechanisms, ways that I handle difficult situations like a quarrel, for example. God pointed out that I must change these mechanisms, because the way I have reacted so far is a wrong way.

M. M.: Before I came to this course, I have already thought a lot about these things, and I was quite aware of my soul wounds, and I was able to roll back to the point in my past where my strange bahavioral actions can be derived from. During the conversation for inner healing I received confirmations on these conclusions. But I've also discovered new things, for example, I'm focusing on performance, and I have a great deal of desire to conform, which I feel is coming from the fact that I would like to meet my father’s standards. The most interesting thing I have discovered is that although I would have decided – now as an adult - as my parents decided, and now I can accept their decision altogether, yet with the simple intellectual understanding I can’t change my feelings, which I had then as a small child. I can not conceive that although I think differently with my mind, I still have these feelings inside, and I can not do anything against them. I needed to leave these feelings, and I think I did. The other thing I realized is that healing is a process, I do not have to change in an instant, I do not have to stress myself to be perfect, but to let God work in me each day.

G.A.: I was looking forward to this course, because I felt it was a hindrance in me that separated me from the person I was before, whom I loved, who was pleased, who liked to talk to people and did everything full of zeal. But when I started the ninth grade and I had a friend, after a while my classmates started attacking me because I was a Christian, and there have been debates on religious themes, because "if you are a Christian, you probably know how to answer these questions. " Then problems began to arise in my relationship with my friend, things that destroyed my self-esteem. I felt the problem is with me, I can not trust enough. These things have built a barrage in me, and I have lost my old purpose in life, that is, to deal with people. I did not know what this dam was. I locked myself in, I started solving my problems by myself, and when I sat down to talk with people, I felt there was something in me that stopped me: it was the fact that after a while I did not even know who I was, what I want, what is the will of God, and at the end I realized that many depend on how I see myself through God's eyes and believe what He says of me, and not what people say. Regarding forgiveness, I can not say that it was difficult, rather interesting. There are two people I could highlight: my mother and my friend, because they both contributed to lower self-esteem. I thought I had forgiven them already because they are just people with their flaws. Now, through the discussion with the counselor, I realized that I did not really forgive them, but thank God, I have succeeded, and now I am sitting here and feeling like the old me which I was before the 9th grade. I did not think this feeling could come back. It depends very much on how you see yourself, but the most important is to see through God’s eyes, and do not look at what others have painted on you.

P. K.: There were a few things I did not know, and I was hoping it would be a course where I could learn something. I realized that I do not look back enough, meaning that if I did not feel well, I was always looking for a close event in the past: I'm sure this happens because half a year ago ... But half a year ago I would have said that it is certain that something happened before ... And I never thought that there was something in my childhood that was the main cause. So we don’t need a superficial treatment. When they talked about focusing on performance, then I thought I finally found the problem; but behind this problem again was another problem. In the conversation with the person who helped me in the inner healing, I have experienced one interesting thing: I lost my grandfather more than a year ago, and two days ago I could not say this without pain, but through prayer I managed to solve this problem as well.

Inner Healing Course - Târgu MureÈ™, 27-30. September, 2018.

B. B.: I learned something new in the weekend: to pray. Until now I thought I can pray, but I couldn`t. Usually I had thanksgiving prayers like „thank You for this, or that”, but I did not dare to ask anything from God. But now I learned, that He is here, and we only need to say it loud, what we need, or what we want and He will fulfill our dreams and needs. Last night, when my counselor saw me, she felt that purity is flowing from my eyes, from my body, from my whole being, and she said that when I will enter into a place or house, it will be cleaned, and I will bring there purity. It was very hard to forgive for two persons. One of them was my father, because of Him I suffered a lot, I didn`t have self-confidence. The other one was me: it was hard to forgive myself, because many times I underestimated myself, or said ugly things to myself. It was hard to forgive, but I took a decision to do it, and I felt great freedom after that.

B. A.: I came here with the idea, that you will give me some kind of pill, that will work, that will be a help in solving my marriage problems, like not communicating, not talking to each other, being nervous, running all the time, buzy working… Then I realized, it`s not going to work like this. What did I really want? To change Him? I wanted to change and influence Him, because I said I`ve already been to Philip course, and I know now what to do, how to pray, how to lecture others, to do things the way I think is ok. I realized, that it is not my task to do it, it is the Lord`s “job” to accept him, to embrace him with His unconditional love, and I can`t change him. Meanwhile I understood that my soul was full with wounds and pain, even though I confessed my sinful past, but I didn`t forgive myself. It was really hard to forgive myself for all my mistakes and sins. It was easier to forgive my husband, because the Lord helped me. In the last month I felt that we became more and more distant, I experienced the work of the evil. In the last month we were accumulating things, and being far away from each other. Now I know that the dam from my sinful life was the obstacle that kept me away from many things. In the beginning of the course I said that I got many wounds from my father, but when I went home Friday evening, I met him, I hugged him, and I said to him: ”I love you”. I feel that this was the first step to open the door for Him. I didn`t work on this area, it just “came, as an idea”. Saturday, late in the night, when I went home, after the prayer and counseling, I was worried about what will my husband say to me…but he didn`t said anything bad. In the morning I woke up and I embraced him. I know, it won`t be so easy, but I am certain, that with the help of the Lord, with the leading of the Holy Spirit it will work because I want it to work. I forgave him, He forgave me, and now I want to serve the Lord with all my heart together with my family.

M. A.: This course was a help and consolidation for me. I had many false convictions in my mind and a big portion of perfectionism and performance orientation. Even though I heard about these things, I’ve hided in my heart that “I am not good”, “You failed again”. The cause of these thoughts was a failure that ruined all those things which was built up in my mind. It happened 2 years ago, when I was leading the youth group at home, I invested all my force, knowledge and prayer in it, but the end still wasn`t good. This was my first failure of this kind, and it was hard, it affected me more than anything else in my life. I had a healthy image of God in my heart, I knew that He loved me, and accepted me, He was not judging or accusing me. But I was the one who condemned myself, and I felt very depressed for months. The healing started a few months ago, but this was one of the most painful stories, and affected my thoughts and feelings. I had to fight against the lies “You are not good enough”, “ You didn`t do it right”, “This is all your fault”, and it was very good to strengthen again the love of the Lord in my heart, and to know, that it is not a disaster, if I failed, the most important is to get up again.

It is hard to forgive myself for all the burdens I`ve put on my own shoulder, and for lettting in all the accusations of the devil. I felt that all those negative thoughts and the tempest that was in my head, keep on coming back, and I have to reject them very consciously every day. The other person, whom was hard to forgive, was the priest, who instead of helping and supporting me, was accusing me. I was angry at him for a long time, and this feeling affected my attitude in the Holy Mass too. Even if it was very hard, I decided to forgive Him again, and I asked the Lord to give me strength to pray for him, because he needs the prayer.

T. B.: I understood two main things in the weekend: the first is that this is a process. I heard it in the teaching and in the counseling too. So, finally, I don`t feel the pressure to change my life in a minute, like in the fairytales, and this opened up my heart to the real hope. It took away the pressure, and from that moment I was able to open my heart to the Lord, and accept His will. The other thing that was new to me – I said that this is not my first retreat though – I feel it for the first time, that now, when the program is over, and I have to go down from the “mountain”, and the enemy will come and will try to hurt me, I will have tools and weapons, I will have a shield, that I can use, and I can go down from the mountain with power, and I can continue my daily life with power. The presence and the power of the Lord will accompany me and protect me.

The most difficult was to forgive to myself, I`ve never done it before, so was totally new for me. I knew that I had to forgive to others, and I tried to do that from my own strength, but to apologize and to forgive to myself was new for me. And I am very thankful for the prayers I`ve heard in the counseling, from now on I know how to pray and what to pray when something happens.

Discernment Course - BÄƒile Harghita, 22-26 July, 2018.

K. J.: I understood that the source of sin is money, vanity and arrogance. I can’t live with wide conscience. I often fall into the mistake that I explain to myself that this or that is not a sin yet, or even if I know that it is sin, God still forgives me and He is patient. But I just realized that this patience has an end, and I shouldn’t live a double life. I have to balance things regarding my time-schedule, my family and my work so that it would be pleasent to God.

Gy. I.: I should try to examine myself better and see in what measure I am walking on God’s path. I realized that I have to persevere in prayer, I shouldn’t be lazy in this area. If something happens – even a bad thing – in my life, it is because the Lord tests me.

K. D.: I took spiritual battle too lightly until now. I realized that without constant and firm stand I have no chance. Beyond that I decided that I should not hold on to things of this world.

T. B.: I understood that God gave us authority over our own spiritual life, and first and foremost it depends on our decisions weather it’s gonna be hell or heaven waiting for us.

T. E.: Everybody is in war, so I can’t stay neutral. The tactics of Satan can be recognized, we can defend ourselves against them. We are not subjected to him. We can live a victorious Christian life.

V. M.: I am a player on the playfield, whether I like it or not. I understood that Satan can act in my life only to the extent I allow him. I have decided that I would not make new decisions in times of desolation.

T. L.: It takes spiritual powerty to get into the Kingdom of God. I understood that in times of desolation one should stick to the decisions made in times of consolation. We have to learn to accept the things life brings with and in all things to obey Jesus.

Sz. Sz.: I understood that the devil is so sneaking and he uses me unconsciously. I realised that Satan makes me feel desolate, and if I let him, he will keep me in it. It grew stronger in me that the most important thing is the relationship with God, and to understand His words better and better.

Philip Course - Odorheiu Secuiesc, 15-17 June, 2018.

N. I.: I had a very pleasant surprize on this course. Yesterday evening I was walking home and I had an impulse that I should go to my wife, give her a kiss and thank her for gently leading me towards this course. The Holy Spkrit had been far away from me until now, I never asked for Him. But now He occupies an important place in my heart. I feel that there was much information at once, it should hav e been good to get it little by little, but this feeling led me to understand that one should come to the community on a weekly basis, you have to hold on to it, and thus you will get strength and impetus to enough for the whole week or at least until Sunday, if you go to the holy mass and are attentive to it.

P. Cs.: I`ve been called to participate on a Philip Course a while ago, but something always intervened or I found excuses. Weather I am an active member of my community or not, this course helped me to clearify it, because I realized that I`ve been active only on the surface. This course helped me change my attitude towards my faith and the way I can give it on to others. I got a picture of a father thas is finally about the Heavenly Father. I seeked for people here on Earth, whom I can combine and get a picture of a father, but these people went away one by one, either they failed in my eyes or had been called home by God. I finally got to understood more how much my Heavenly Father loved me.

M. I.: Everything was so new to me. I was not a religious person, I didn`t like to go to the church. While I was growing up, my father never went to church, the only reason I did, was because the priest asked me afterwards weather I`ve been to church or not, and I didn`t have the guts to lie. So I went. But nothing realy moved me, I didn`t feel anything. I knew that God existed, but he was distant, somewhere up, He acuses and threatens. I somehow had this thought though that God loved me, but I couldn`t comprehend why is there so much sin, Why am I such a sinner. I know now that the Holy Spirit lead me, when I started to go to church, and to pray, which I was not able to do a little while before. I also had some family problems in my life, and the pain was growing in me until I went to Medjugorje, and through the priest who was leading the pilgrimage i found out that there was a community I my home village, and when they announced that there would be a Philip Course, at that very moment I decided to go ther too. Here it was also new thing that Jesus had already saved me. I`ve received so many things, I started to see more clearly.

B. M.: I entered this room with a huge sack which I felt that I can`t carry on. Then it seemed to me as if they would have taken a little piece out of this sack with every step we made on this course. He first thing I couldn`t believe was that God could love me with the past I had. Then I realized that it is not He who has moved away from me, but it`s me who has turned away from Him, and I just need to turn back to Him, and I will receive the same love which others do. Redemption helped me understand that we are already helped through the things I am still carrying, because Jesus has taken it from me, it`s just me sticking to them, I want to carry them on and I am punishing myself with it. I was telling to myself that I believed, and tried to consolidate others, though I lacked real faith. I judged others every day, and in spite that I was aware of it I fell in the same mistake all the time. So I need to convert every day. The Holy Spirit had called on me many times, but I couldn`t believe that He existed for helping me, and He communicated with me too. He proved to be present and acting, one only needs to believe in Him, call Him, ask for Him. I have already been part of a community, I know what it`s like, but there has been a big crack in my life when I ripped myself out of it. Fear and sin kept me far from that commnity. But not so long ago I got to know another comunity which I hope that I would be accepted in.

B. A.: I have opened every door and window and came without expectations. I was raised up in a religious manner, and until this course I thought that everything was ok with me, that I had a relatipnship with God. But I had many lacks in various areas, and now all these things were put in place. The mistery of resurrection gave answer to everything. I am so grateful for being here. There has been a very difficult perioud behind me, when I asked everybody to pray for me because I couldn`t. And I know that there have been many praying for me in many places, and I got to understand that the way I went through all this could only be with the grace and power of the Lord. Community is not a question for me.

F. S.: I`ve already been to a Philip Course, when I was in Cluj, and then I was touched by God as a student, but now instead as a future husband and father. In spite of the fact that the course is essentially the same, it can touch you in a different way. Probably this experience is possible not only on this course here, but the essence of the community is somehow the same: when we go to a community meeting, there we can experience God`s love in different ways, depending on what stage of our life we are at. I feel that this helpes us strengthen unity among us, and makes us able to live our married life in God`s love and will, and this is very important to me. It is sure that we will belong to a community.

Philip Course - Tirgu Mures, 2-4 March, 2018.

I. B.: When there was the calling of the Holy Spirit and they prayed for me, they saw a nut which had a pretious treasure hidden inside, but I have to break it open. It became clear for me that this nut is me and I have to break it and I have to step out. I feel that I’ve been strengthened and I can make the necessary step, so that I might not have expectations towards people and the community, but to be able to do my part.

F. B.: Here on this course I heard some new things which helped me and I got enriched with. For example the first change I observed on myself was that I could accept others easier. It went well last night already, when I got home, so I was very happy and proud with myself. I could conscientise in my heart that what a prise Jesus payed with his sufferings and death, and we should really be thankful to Him for that. I didn’t give much attention to the Holy Spirit until now, I didn’t think that He had the same importance as the Father or the Son, but now I felt that He is the same authority.

M. M.: I knew all these things in theory because I used to go to religion classes, but I didn’t feel them truly, just had a knowledge about them. It’s just now that I understood that the essence of community is not for some people who know each other for ten years to get together and have a good chat, but to call others too, make it grow, and I have my place in there too, I can be useful in that community even if I am new. And I can always give something new.

G. G.: I had a great wish to know the Father better, and I am really happy and thankful for this thirst, because without this and without faith it is very hard to get close to God. Last night and also this morning I’ve felt that there is some kind of joy which I can’t explain, but I would rather stay here than to go home. This feels good to me and it’s sure that it is the work of the Holy Spirit. If we ask Him He will touch us. I felt that He touched me on this weekend. It was good to see that everybody is smiling today, although on Friday we were just looking at each other wondering why am I raising my hands while singing. But today everybody has a smile on his face: this is the power of the Holy Spirit. This we should live in every moment, to take it with us, moreover it should hurt the fact that there are so many out in the world who don’t feel this at all.

Inner Healing Course - Miercurea Ciuc, 8-11 February 2018.

K. B.: Probably one of the greatest things I discovered is that some small, insignificant things, events or happenings in my childhood that I used to recount laughing, in fact can be the beginning of a trauma, they can have a serious ponderance in my present life. When I was a child I`d been continuously stamped with a lot of negative qualities which I felt I didn`t deserve, and I was deeply offended by this. It was hard for me to open up myself before others and make some friends, that`s why I didn`t even have a true friend I could share my things with, only after I joined a community. It was very hard for me to forgive especially to a couple of people. Many times I thought I already did, but at a certain point it came up again. If we met on the street I couldn`t smile at them or honestly greet them, because every time they came into my mind, I felt bitterness, and it was painful to remember. I feel that the process has already started in me, and I can give them an honest smile, so the hurt they caused is starting to heal.

M. R.: God made men to be the crown of all His creations, still many times I walk into the trap when Satan tempts me, and he laughs at God when he overcomes us. I recognized that it felt so bad when someone rejected my apology because my mother did so when I was a child. Now I understood that I have to give time so that the other person can process things when I ask for forgiveness. It is a process going on inside him, and it takes time for him to be able to approach. But a gate has already opened in his heart when I said „forgive me”. And I need to give myself some time to let that person come closer to me. This course helped me realize that I had made so many stupid things in my life, but there is deliverance, and I can live a different life. I am a new person, not the one I used to be, but I much better one, because I believe Jesus created me wonderful.

H. B.: At the beginning of this week I thought I was ok, it’s no use sweeping out from under the carpet the hurts which I felt that I forgot or I have dealt with. But then on Thursday things started to come up and I realized that God is calling me to be here after all and to put something down that is deep within me. During the course it became clear that I have a few masks inside me which I use to put on to comply, or to show that I was somebody too. I feel that many times I hide my head in the sand, I step back saying that I don’t need any help, and I rather help others, but when it comes to my needs, I try to solve it myself, and do things out of my own strength. I think that deep inside it was the hardest to forgive to myself for saying I was not suitable for this or that, I was not worthy enough, or I was not capable of doing things. It is a deep process in me to accept the fact that I also have worth. I am so thankful to God for giving me light in place of the darkness.

Sz. A.: I experienced how much better is to live my life smiling and loving, and not walking on the streets with bent head and weaping, but rather in love and in a community in which you can experience what God has done for you – though we don’t realize it –, accepting all that he has to give, and bearing our cross with raised head. I managed to forgive to people who caused great suffering, hardships and fears in our family life, and all this was related to my husband’s job. I am so glad that I could forgive them from my heart, I am over it, and my heart is happy now, and I feel like I’ve been born again. I hope that I can make this love I got from you grow in me and eventually to give it on, and from now on I can live with God and not without Him.

K. A.: The thing that meant a lot for me on this course was that I gradually became aware of the many hurts that I carry starting from childhood, or how many false opinions have ingrained in my head, or which are the areas where I’ve been spiritually injured. I was convinced that my mother would be the hardest to forgive, because she caused the most hurts in my childhood by not accepting me, but surprisingly it was my father whom I could hardly forgive for not being present in my life, he was almost an outsider, continuously working, never playing with us, never saying that I was beautiful, that I was a miracle, he has never come to hug me, or when I went to him running, he would push me away. And I had thought it didn’t hurt me, because I was convinced that my father was like that and I have to love him anyway. And I do love him, that’s why I managed to put these things down. It was also a great help for me that I could go to confession, because I felt that I’ve left a big stone in there that I didn’t need anymore.

Philip Course - Miercurea Ciuc, 19-21 January 2018.

U. H.: God calls us to have a joyful life, and if we invite Him into our hearts – as we did on this weekend –, we start to live our eternal life here and now, and we don’t have to wait until we die, but living in a loving relationship with Him means full happiness, and thus things that happen in this life don’t really matter anymore. We don’t have to be afraid of Him, He is always with us, we can grab His hand and walk with Him.

Sz. A.: On Saturday I felt that everything I knew only in my head until now, reached my heart. God loves me, carries me in His hands and overwhelms me with all good things. Community isn’t a question anymore for me.

A. A.: This has been a weekend full of experiences for me. The most important message was that even if we are sinners, God awaits us, loves us and does not punish. In fact we rip us out of His love with our sins, so we punish ourselves. I arrived quite confused but I feel I managed to calm down.

T. T. J.: I’ve already been to a Philip Course, but I felt the desire in my heart to come again and experience God’s love. On this weekend it was a great recognition that God loves me very much in spite of the sins I commit. I always felt that I become smaller with every sin I commit, or it tears off a part of me, and God doesn’t love me anymore. This belief became perceptible even in my self-confidence, I had a lot of problems with it. During the prayer for the Holy Spirit I got encouraged that I am like o treasure-box, a value, and God has given me a magnifier through which I can see myself with God’s eyes.

B. E.: I came here thinking that if I have to be here anyway then I will stay until the end, will see what happens, but then I’ll go back home and live on my life. But it seems that it didn’t happen this way. I felt myself very good on Friday, and even yesterday, although I had a sleepless night, and everything was swirling inside me, but now it all calmed down a bit. The thing that captured me was the importance of belonging to a community, a judgment-free atmosphere; that in spite of me making many mistakes, there is a community which accepts me as I am. During the invocation of the Holy Spirit I saw myself as I was almost drowning in water, but somehow I managed to crawl out to the shore, and though this picture I understood that my life has really been like a survival, a battle just to survive this day, this minute, this hour. I feel now that there is real hope for me to get to the shore somehow.

T. G.: I have come here with the certainty that I have to be here, I knew that I would come even on the first day I got the invitation, because on one hand I wanted to get some answers to my questions, whether I made good decisions or not, and on the other hand I had the feeling that God would show me something new which I didn’t know until now. Regarding the truths of God I had many experiences due to the spiritual retreats and courses I’d been to, bet there was still one thing that completed my database, and that is that next to faith there must be conversion. I was missing this one thing, it was like an eye of the chain.

M. B.: I arrived to this Philip Course with great enthusiasm, and I did not regret it. I realized how important the Holy Spirit was, that we can rely on Him in hard times too. I liked it very much when I got prayed for; it was very intimate for me. I hope that I would be able to help other persons in the same way.