TESTIMONIES
2025
Philip Course – Târgu Mureș - September
Participant
I came to this course with an open heart, without expectations, waiting for God to surprise me. And God did surprise me, because I felt Him very close through the teachings and the dynamics. I was strengthened in the realization that yes, I should accept others, but I should also accept myself as I am. I understood that it is not enough to simply be close to God—I also need to rely on Him so that He can shape me. The biggest “wow” moment for me during the course was when I handed my life over to God, to let Him lead me from now on. That gave me great relief and freedom. I felt that the Good God came very personally close to me, and I did not need to have fear inside, because God knows me, He knows my limits and what I can handle, and therefore I can boldly keep an open heart toward Him. I also encourage others to dare to turn toward God with an open heart, even when it is difficult, because He knows us. It also became clear to me that in the community I attend, I should take a greater part in serving at the meetings, so that participants can go home with an experience of God, and not just laugh away the gatherings.
Participant
I decided in the last 10 minutes that I would come to this course, and I did not regret it, because this weekend completely filled my heart with joy. My heart was touched by the truth that God loves me, and even if I get lost, I can always return to Him and ask for forgiveness. I understood in my heart that Christ carried the cross solely for me. I will recommend this course to everyone, especially to the Bible group/community I belong to, because this is definitely a place one must come to. I thank God that I could be here.
Participant
This weekend was very moving for me for several reasons. I wanted my relationship with God to be strengthened, because I used to belong to a youth community where I lived out my faith deeply, but when I “flew out” from there, I was not part of a community anymore, and my faith grew weak. I felt the effect of this over the past 7–8 years, as I fell quite deep, so I prayed to the Lord that something would happen, that I might again be in a place where I could experience His love. I believe there are no coincidences, because even at my workplace now I am in a Christian community, and I already thought that this would be a good new beginning. Then I came to this weekend, and in a good sense this became a turning point in my life, because when I surrendered my life to God, I truly felt that something changed in me again. I spoke to the Lord from my heart, and I found myself, to my own surprise, in tears. Then I knew this was not by chance, but God’s plan for me to be here this weekend. I understood that community is important in order for me to remain firm in my faith, so I decided that from now on, I will regularly attend again.
Participant
I had already felt God’s truths in my heart before, the same ones I heard here at the course, but until now I couldn’t say them out loud or put them into words. During this course, God’s truths became illuminated for me, and that is what I received here, and in that lies my joy. What touched me most was realizing that God personally loves me just as I am. Even if at times I may not feel it, I will consciously return to this truth, so that it gives me strength when I need it. I understood that walking on God’s path always requires both faith and conversion, and these must always go together. I am preparing to go to university, so I want to join a community there, to boldly allow the Holy Spirit to fill me through the fellowship.
Participant
This course has greatly shaped the way I see the Holy Spirit. Since the course, I pay more conscious attention to what the Holy Spirit is saying to me now, and I try to act and live accordingly. It is simply an uplifting feeling to listen to the Spirit. Sometimes it is difficult, but when you do it, it is a wonderful experience. Since then, I have felt the Father’s love much more, and it is as if my relationship with Jesus has stepped onto a new level. This weekend was healing for my soul, as if it had mended old wounds. I cannot be grateful enough! Thank you!
Inner Healing Course – Târgu Mureș – May 29 – June 1
Participant 1.
"Despite going to church and having a relationship with God, I saw the negative side of everything and
could always find a reason to say, 'this is why it's not good.' I didn't realize that this was the work of Satan.
It was very powerful for me to understand that negativity does not come from God. I often accused
myself, tormented myself, but now I've realized that it's not supposed to be like that—I need to be grateful
to the Good Lord. I am thankful to God that He allows me to continue on His path and has prepared my
place in Heaven above. The hardest thing was to forgive myself."
Participant 2.
"I have been enriched a great deal at this course with valuable insights. I would like to highlight a few of
them. I understood the role that sins play in forming spiritual bonds. When I confess something, that’s not
the end of everything—sins have consequences as well. I realized that in life, we are in a battle against
evil, and in battle we get wounded, so these bonds must be broken. It became clear to me that it’s
important to keep two things in mind: one is confession, that is, the sacrament of reconciliation, and the
other is inner healing. Both are necessary for complete healing to take place.
The hardest part was forgiving myself, because I recognized in myself many traits related to performance
orientation, and therefore my self-criticism is very strong. During the individual prayer session with my
counselor, I was able to talk about many things which I had only ever shared with the priest before—and
not even in such detail. All of this was thanks to the help of the Holy Spirit. Let this be the end of carrying
so many burdens. After laying them down, I felt incredibly free and uplifted."
Participant 3.
"It’s true that on Friday I asked myself, 'What am I doing here? I already know and have heard all this.'
But now I know that this is exactly where I was meant to be, and I needed to be here. Recently, I had been
praying for the Lord to guide me somewhere, because I felt like I was in a desert—my prayers were dry,
and I couldn’t get into reading the Scriptures. I realized that my wounds were the root of it all. I’ve had
many wounds in my life, especially in childhood, and I had been carrying them with me. Now I see that
everything traces back to those wounds. I did many things because of them.
There were many bonds and open doors in my life that needed to be cut and closed—and now Jesus has
cut and closed them, sealing them with His Precious Blood. I feel complete freedom, because the Lord has
declared that I am His beloved child, and that outward appearances don’t matter, because He is the One
who searches the heart.
Even though I had often gone through the motions of forgiveness in my own heart, I now realized that my
forgiveness toward those around me hadn’t been complete. My tears flowed like a stream when I had to
forgive my parents—but it was even harder to forgive myself. I’ve always struggled with a deep sense of
inferiority and low self-worth, but the Lord showed me who I am in Him. I feel like everything has lifted."
Participant 4.
I had a lot of questions in me, even when I first signed up. Do I really need this? I’m not one of those
“over-the-top” Christians, and I don’t even know if I want to be one. I don’t want to become someone
who’s constantly looking around every corner to see where evil might be lurking. I’m not even sure I want
to hear about the different ways the enemy can manifest.
But then, during the Thursday evening prayer, I stood firm and said, “Lord, let’s try this. I don’t know
what You want, but I believe You want what’s best for me, so let it be as You will. I’ll try to be open to the
new thing You want to give me now.”
And He did bring something new. But He didn’t ask me to jump into a dark abyss. He asked me to take
one step—with Him, toward Him. This step is a natural continuation, a part of the journey I’ve already
begun with the Lord.
The greatest gift of the course was that—especially during the individual prayer session with my
counselor—I experienced that Jesus is inviting me on a joyful adventure with Him, one that is full of
small kindnesses, miracles, joyful moments, and He wants to be with me all the way through it.
I believe that this new/old realization (something I already knew, but now felt again and was strengthened
in) came mostly directly from God, but you were the ones who prepared me to be open to hearing Him. I
thank you for that from the bottom of my heart!
It was long, and I really got tired, but I have absolutely no regrets about taking the time for it. I’ll see
MANY of its fruits only later. But in the meantime, I’m already living in a new joy.
The Fatherly Heart of God –Targu Mures - March
Participant 1
There were two exercises where I felt nervous and really didn’t want to go, but I chose the strategy of standing up and moving forward—this is what I recommend to you as well. ? The Lord called me to forgiveness, but there was a situation where a fellow participant became very frustrated, and I immediately felt that frustration transfer to me. People were sitting in line, waiting for prayer, and I stepped out into the hallway, talking with someone, thinking I might not get a turn. However, I had already set my eyes on one of the spiritual counselors. Then someone came down to say that a spot had opened up with that particular counselor, and I instinctively started walking towards them. It was only afterward that I realized there were still people ahead of me in line. When I came out, I started blaming myself, wondering what would have happened if I hadn’t gone in earlier and someone else had gotten their turn instead. At that moment, I recognized how quickly I absorb others’ tension and then blame myself for it. I asked God when this pattern entered my life, and I remembered that when I was a child, my uncle passed away. Around that time, I had recurring dreams where he was rescuing everyone from a burning house. In reality, that didn’t happen—it was just something I dreamt and imagined with my little 7-year-old mind. I had this dream many times, almost as if I were foreseeing the future. In my dreams, it always took place in an apartment building with an elevator, even though my uncle didn’t live there. I would run to him, shouting, “Uncle, uncle, don’t go on the road, stay home!”—because in real life, he died in a car accident. I felt that this 7-year-old girl inside me deeply blamed herself for not being able to prevent the accident. I knew I had to address this now. I quickly went to Vicky to ask what I should do, and she told me whom I needed to forgive. I sat down and did just that. During worship, all the pain I experienced at the age of seven surfaced—not only had my uncle died, but several other family members as well. These emotions were now rising to the surface. I felt that this little girl inside me could finally cry out the pain of not being noticed during that period. The Lord was healing me from this, and I realized that the feeling of being unimportant and unnoticed, which had later affected my life, was now being released. As a little girl, I was finally able to cry and forgive myself. In prayer, it became clear to me that I hadn’t dreamt of these events beforehand—I had dreamt them afterward. I could not have stopped my uncle from going on that road, and I no longer need to blame myself. Glory to the Lord.
Participant 2
The first thing that touched me in the teachings was the topic of orphanhood. For me, being an orphan had always seemed like a positive thing because I believed that it entitled a person to pity, support, and comfort. I realized that this was because I had also grown up as an orphan—my father passed away, and my mother left me with my grandparents, which caused me a lot of struggles. Yesterday, I understood that this orphan mindset had taken on a spiritual dimension in my life. I believed I had the right to be pitied and supported because I felt it was something I deserved. At the same time, I also felt that I had to accept this state—that being left out of inheritances, not receiving help from my family, and being excluded from such things was natural for me because I was an orphan. It struck me deeply to realize that being an orphan was actually something I had chosen, but I also had the power to break free from it. What strengthened me was the truth shared during this course: if we have lost our earthly father, the Heavenly Father commits Himself to take his place. I had the opportunity to truly experience and live this out in prayer. However, I felt that I struggled to draw close to the Father because He wasn’t a biological relative. In prayer, I realized that, in a way, I had imagined the Heavenly Father as if He were my father-in-law. I felt very close to Jesus, and I always approached the Father through Him. When you enter a new family, you share your joys and parts of yourself, but only on a surface level. You accept help, but only as much as is comfortable. I felt like I had this kind of "father-in-law relationship" with God—He helped me, I could turn to Him, and I was part of the family, but I always took my deepest struggles to Jesus instead. Yesterday, I remembered that Jesus is the Way, not the goal. Everything we receive comes through Jesus, but He is not the final destination—the goal is to reach the Father. This realization scared me a little because I knew I didn’t feel that close to the Father. I prayed and asked the Father to come close to me just as I was—and He came. In prayer, I understood that the Father has given me a new life.
Participant 3
So many positive things happened to me during this course. More than seven years ago, I consciously started walking on God’s path, following Him, and choosing Him in my daily life. I have heard God’s voice multiple times and have experienced His presence. I’m naturally a logical, head-driven person—I hear God’s voice, but I don’t usually connect with Him through emotions. However, this course completely changed that for me. There were two experiences where I felt God more powerfully than ever before. I even wondered if what I was experiencing was an exaggeration, but the truth is, I had never encountered Him this intensely and tangibly before. I can’t even put the feeling into words… Through one of the sisters, God spoke the exact same words that had once led to my conversion—the very words I first heard when I recognized His voice. It’s incredible that this happened. Another thing I want to share is that I grew up in a very loving family. I didn’t experience any major trauma with my parents, only small things here and there. My mother loves me and my sibling deeply, and she expressed it often by saying, “I love you more than anything in the world; you are the meaning of my life.” I know she meant this with the greatest love, and I understand what she was trying to say. But for me, it created the unconscious belief that my mother’s happiness depended on me. This feeling was always present within me. Even now, I do many things in my life, but I’ve noticed that I often do things unwillingly—yet I still do them just to make my mother happy. I’ve recognized this same pattern in other relationships as well, where I do things primarily to bring joy to others. While making others happy is not a bad thing, it’s not my responsibility. The most liberating realization I received in prayer was that I don’t have to carry this burden—I am not responsible for my mother’s happiness or anyone else’s, because only Jesus can fulfill that role. I could have known this before, but now this truth has truly reached my heart and become real in my life. I have no power to do this—but Jesus does. And for me, that was incredibly freeing.
Participant 4
I’m facing a big challenge because my relationship with a very close friend has been damaged. I’m grateful for this course because now I know the right path to navigate this situation. The Holy Spirit revealed to me that I had fallen into the trap of false expectations. I thought that by being generous with this friend, he would eventually realize he didn’t have to be so selfish. I believed that if I kept giving—investing my time and money over the years—he would change. What truly shocked me was realizing that, despite acting out of love and good intentions, thinking I was meeting his needs, the reality was he didn’t actually need my help. He had plenty of money but simply never carried cash, which I hadn’t noticed. This was a huge shock for me, but now I know that a conversation is ahead of us. I will set boundaries, and if we can come to an understanding, that would be great. But if not, then—just as Jesus Himself did—I will move him a bit farther from my inner circle of life.
Participant 5
I came here to be loved by God, and He truly showered me with His love. I have experienced deep healing, especially in my grief. One thing I want to share is that I had been carrying a great sense of blame over a certain situation. But in prayer, I received a simple yet life-changing message: “Be merciful to yourself too!” At first, this sounded obvious—but to me, it was shocking. To myself?! I am merciful to everyone else; I can accept, understand, and love others; I can forgive even the biggest mistakes. But towards myself, I had always been harsh. I believed I had to be strong and act like an adult at all times. But now, God told me: “Be merciful to yourself.” For the first time, I was able to forgive myself. And I made a decision: Whenever that feeling of guilt tries to return, I will reject it and not allow it to cause me such deep emotional pain anymore.
Participant 6
Let me introduce myself: I am God’s beloved daughter, and yesterday, I was finally born! I knew I needed this course, yet getting here was incredibly difficult and complicated. But I am so grateful to be here because God has brought immense healing into my life. I have aborted siblings—if they had all been born, we would have been eleven in total. But now, only my sibling and I are alive. The first thing I had to accept was that I am not a victim and that God wanted me to exist. However, I realized that deep down, I didn’t want to exist. I had to forgive everyone for my mother’s abortions. And the moment I forgave, I was finally able to be conceived and be born—spiritually.
Participant 7
I really didn’t want to come here. My mom had heard about this course and suggested we should go. I said, “Okay, when is it?” She told me the date, but it just so happened that my faculty was organizing a translation conference in Budapest on the same days. I told my mom, “Okay, I’ll think about it.” I really appreciated that she gave me full freedom to decide for myself. The truth is, I wanted to go to the conference. For the past year and a half, I have been working hard to be the professors’ favorite—to be the best in my field, to know everything better than anyone else. I felt that if I didn’t go, I would lose favor with them, and someone else would take my place. But when it came time to commit myself, I remembered all the worldly things I had given up for Jesus—and how every time, it worked out for my good. So, I decided: No matter what happens, I’m going to this course. My parents are divorced, and I think I developed a belief about father figures—that if I’m not good, I am not worthy to talk to the Heavenly Father. I have always had a great relationship with Jesus. I would often chat with God about the smallest things, saying, “Alright, God, I’m dying my hair now… I’m brushing my teeth…” even when no one else was around. But if I did something wrong, I felt like I couldn’t talk to God—only to Jesus. I also grew up believing that I couldn’t say no and that I must never hurt my dad’s feelings. I never once disobeyed or argued with him. Except once. That one time was when I failed my driver’s test. My dad was disappointed and didn’t talk to me for a whole day. He even told me, “You shouldn’t have messed it up—it was so easy.” But on this course, I deeply experienced God’s love. I realized that I don’t have to be sinless to talk to Him—I can talk to Him even when I fall. I am so grateful that Vicki and Robert came, because I am now on the path to adulthood. I even wrote an entire personal guidebook during this course—a manual on how to navigate different life situations.
Participant 8
I noticed that in certain areas, I have experienced partial healing. I have worked in a children's home before, and I observed that these children came from a state of poverty and were placed in the home where suddenly they had everything. When they were angry, they would easily break a pencil in half because they didn’t appreciate it. I also noticed that orphans, when speaking with strangers, can present their situation exceptionally well. During one particular moment, God told me, "My son, you are much better than you think you are." This made me realize that I still struggle to believe that the Father is good and that His goodness is in me. Another thing I want to mention is that my parents were not married. My father had a previous marriage, but before that, my mother had already suffered a loss—my sibling was never born. I was born earlier than expected, and although my father stayed with us for the rest of his life, he probably wasn’t there during that period. I never revisited that time in my past, maybe because I thought I was fine. I can compare it to when you feel better and don’t go back to the doctor. However, I have now decided to go back to these pains in my life. When I sat down to reflect, I felt my herniated disc. It has been there since birth, and things have remained unresolved. As the pain began, I felt it radiate down to my leg. Immediately, I knew—sometimes healing begins with pain. I have also learned that I can only move forward from where I currently am. I realized that because I was born prematurely, I have often rushed into things before the right time, and now these situations are coming back to me. I see that I didn’t wait back then either... but whose fault is that? That is for the Lord to decide, and I believe He will set things right. This realization is still partial, but I remind myself: I am not alone, and I am not alone. This is a deep and honest realization. It seems that God is gradually leading you toward complete healing. Even though your understanding is still partial, what truly matters is that you have started on this journey. Pain is sometimes part of healing, and as you said, "I can only move forward from where I currently am." That is profound wisdom! The fact that you are revisiting your pain and allowing God to restore you is a courageous decision. What you said about orphans is also very significant—they sometimes don’t appreciate what they receive and can tell their stories so well to outsiders. Perhaps this is a reflection for you as well, that you are now learning to truly appreciate the Father’s goodness in your life—not just talk about it but live it. "You are not alone." That is a powerful truth. And the Father has always been with you, even when you didn’t feel it. Perhaps now is the time for you to experience this more deeply. ??
Participant 9
I wasn’t raised by my parents until I was seven because I was often sick, so they took me to live with my grandparents. My grandmother, who was a cantor, took me to church, and even as a small child, I felt that the Lord was speaking to me. However, no one in my family could truly be considered a believer. Despite the chaos around me and all the different experiences I went through, I had a deep sense of peace and calm that came from God. Of course, I was loved—everyone in their own way, as best as they could. Looking back, I now recognize this as the Lord’s grace. However, there was a turning point in my life when difficulties started to arise. I now understand that engaging in a sexual relationship outside of marriage can open the door for negative things to enter one’s life. After that happened, I went through constant struggles, hardships, and battles that exhausted me. These crises eventually led me back to the Lord, and over time, I found freedom. This process took about two years. I was so happy, feeling completely liberated, but I didn’t understand how I could find myself back in a survival mode, facing new challenges. Many areas of my life still lacked breakthrough. I was angry with the Lord because of all the difficulties, but my heart gradually softened, and I began to trust Him more. I know that during this course, I took a significant step forward. In one particular form of prayer, I had an amazing experience with the Lord. Playfulness is an essential part of who I am, but amid so many hardships, I had lost it. During that prayer, I felt as though I was regaining that sense of playfulness. Yesterday’s testimony from one of my brothers also made me realize something. When I was living through difficult challenges and carrying heavy burdens, it affected my body as well. Over the past three years, I gained about 10 kilos, but now I feel as though I have been set free from that. Even in the first few days of this course, I began sleeping more peacefully. During prayer with my spiritual director, the Lord brought many things to the surface that I had thought were already healed. It felt good to pray over them and close the doors to their influence on my life. This love that I have been able to deepen in here—I long to carry it forward and share it with others. This is how I will return home to my community.
Participant 10
My wife insisted that I attend this course. I know the voice of the Holy Spirit exists, but so does the enemy’s voice, which often seems much louder. There were many voices telling me why I shouldn’t come. Right now, I’m going through one of the most difficult periods of my career, even though I’ve been in this field for 17 years. I’ve faced great trials, and I had plenty of objective reasons not to attend. I’ve been walking with the Lord for 25 years, and I thought I didn’t need this course—it wasn’t for me. Even the name, The Father’s Love Course, made me think it would be overly emotional, suited especially for women. When the course began, it had a positive atmosphere, but during the first teaching, I was already critical. I felt like only half-truths were being spoken, especially when they said that our lives aren’t shaped by circumstances but by the laws we believe in our hearts. While that’s true, I struggled with the idea that healing requires transferring a decision from the mind to the heart—“make a conscious choice, forgive whoever you need to.” To me, that sounded like they were saying forgiveness is an emotional process, which contradicts what I’ve been teaching for 18 years in marriage preparation: forgiveness is not based on emotions. After reflecting, I realized that while making a conscious choice is important, if I completely detach it from the heart, what am I really representing? I started drawing parallels—I felt like these teachings were meant for others, not for me. I asked the Lord to speak to me, but I made the mistake of getting distracted during a break. At that moment, I told the Lord I would open my heart even more. When I did, the teachings, worship, and prayer began to speak to me personally. One false motivation I had for not attending was thinking that I had no real wounds from my childhood. My parents never divorced, and I never experienced deep betrayals that required me to forgive. But during the course, I realized that my calling came from a deep pain—the injustice I saw in politics. I have been in this field for a long time, and I’m well-known and widely supported. The Lord called me to stand for truth, to speak out, and to go against the tide. But then I heard something during the course that struck me: Truth is important, but where is love? I do love people. I am patient with them, and I care about them. But if I’m honest, my sense of justice has always been much stronger. Even my family encourages this in me. But because of this, I’ve often become a kind of justice bulldozer. I started thinking—why do I have so many legal battles? Because I speak the truth, and truth must be spoken. But I had never stopped to ask Jesus or the Father, How would You do this with Your loving heart? Then I had to write myself a letter—acknowledging that my sense of justice is still so strong that I need to taste the Father’s love. I had to write to myself to forgive myself for times when I wasn’t fair enough, when I compromised, or when I allowed things to happen without proper permission. I expected to be reprimanded, but instead, I heard: No, no, no. The Lord called you to love and to show love to others. Justice is not always the highest path. The words from the course echoed in my mind: The world is not fair. That led me to think—was Jesus always fair and lawful when He walked the earth? He and His disciples picked grain on the Sabbath, which was against the law, yet His love for them took precedence. David ate the consecrated bread, which was unlawful, yet love overrode the law. This doesn’t mean we should abandon the law for the sake of love. But I now understand that love must be the dominant force. This course made me realize that I shouldn’t cling to my own righteousness at all costs—not as a husband, not as a father—because that can turn a marriage into a battlefield. With my excessive sense of justice, I can ruin things. And if I do, am I really representing a loving Father, whether in my workplace or in my family, or am I just being a rigid enforcer of justice? God confronted me: "Hello, you’ve taken over justice from Me, and then you’re surprised that so many difficulties have come into your life? Do what I’ve called you to do—but do it with love." On top of everything, I also learned how to properly prioritize my life. From now on, if someone asks for my time, I’ll tell them, "I’m only available in September." If they ask, "Do you have half an hour?" I’ll say, "I don’t even have ten minutes." And now, I know how to do this in love.
Participant 11
During the course, I felt like there was a barrier within me, and I couldn't be fully present. However, I learned that even if I don’t feel it, I should make a decision. So, I decided to focus on the course, to participate with my mind and understanding. I didn’t feel much during the exercises either; everything felt forced and difficult. I asked for prayer to make it easier, and it did help me to be more present in spirit, but after a while, the dullness and obstacle returned. I chose the strategy of fighting back—every half hour, I would cast out this dullness from my life in the name of Jesus Christ. I felt that this helped, and in small moments and dynamics, I was able to be present in spirit. Through these dynamics, I experienced what it means when God gently touches someone, something I had never known in my life. I experienced the true Fatherly embrace, the Fatherly touch, because my dad used his hands to hurt and beat me, not to hold and protect me. My love language is physical touch, and I thought that God couldn’t love me in this way—but now He did, and in a wonderful way. My mother always hugged me tightly and clingingly, but I never received gentleness from her. However, God now embraced me in such a gentle, delicate, motherly way, something I had never felt before. Through this, the Father showed me that He can love me in this way too. I received so much care and tender attention from God, something I had never experienced before. I am grateful to God that He can love me in this way. During the prayer of forgiveness, I knew I had to forgive my father. I had forgiven him many times before, but this time, as I forgave him for many things, a very painful memory surfaced. This memory was of me standing by the kitchen cabinet while my father hit me over and over again, very hard. I knew 100% that I had done nothing wrong, yet I was being beaten. I returned to that memory in prayer and saw Jesus there. He was present in such a way that He merged with me, like two holograms projected onto each other. As I stood there, Jesus was slightly in front of me, and when my father’s hand struck, it passed through me without touching me. Jesus said, “I am here, I am protecting you, and I love you.” Since then, when I recall that memory, it is no longer the same memory that actually happened. Every time I look back, Jesus is there, and the blow never reaches me. That was the healing I received in the first prayer. In the second prayer, we worked on another wound—the fact that I was not wanted, that they had planned to abort me. I know from family stories that my grandfather eventually said, “One more bowl of soup won’t make a difference; we will raise this child.” This is what happened from a human perspective that allowed me to be born. In prayer, we went back to the womb, and I envisioned myself as a tiny fetus, clutching the umbilical cord tightly with both hands. We invited the Father into that memory, and He came and embraced my back, surrounding me. Since then, I know that He was there with me all along, and I am safe because He is watching over me.
Participant 12
Before the course, I had a relationship with Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Virgin Mary, and I always communicated with the Heavenly Father through them. However, during one of the dynamics, the father-daughter relationship was born within me. At that moment, I felt and experienced that the Heavenly Father accepts me along with my past, like the prodigal son. I saw myself as a rose—with thorns—but the Father didn’t care about the thorns; instead, He breathed in the fragrance of the rose and couldn’t get enough of it. Another realization I had was that a false rule had been written into my heart, a false comfort: I am a strong, determined woman, and I don’t need anyone! In prayer, I went back in time and realized that this belief took root in my heart when my parents sent me to school in the city, and I had to manage everything on my own. However, I was finally able to allow the Heavenly Father to erase the second part of this rule. The part that said, I don’t need anyone—He erased that part from my life.
Participant 13
I consider myself a very pragmatic person and never really paid attention to the spiritual side of my life. Around 2008, we went to Medjugorje because my wife decided that we should go. While there, I brought back a small stone with an image of the Virgin Mary inside it and placed it on my desk alongside a small wooden cross. Then Covid hit, and one day, my colleague came to me with tear-filled eyes, asking, How can you sleep so peacefully at night? Covid is here, and everything is falling apart! I told her that I sleep well at night. She looked at the Virgin Mary and the cross on my desk and said, It’s easy for you because you have these, and that’s why you can sleep peacefully. I told her, Well, put something like these there for yourself too—maybe you’ll be able to sleep better.
Participant 14
I feel that I needed this course much more than I initially thought. My mother was 43, and my father was 46 when I was born. They already had four grown children and had also gone through several abortions. I only survived because the doctors said that if they aborted me as well, my mother's life would be in danger. I was the kind of little girl who followed my mother everywhere, and if she wasn’t around, I would be overwhelmed by a deep fear. When I was 14, my sister told me how I was born. During the prayer of forgiveness, I mainly had to forgive my parents. The spiritual counselor asked me to go back to a painful memory, and what came to my mind was a recurring dream: my parents arguing at night. We had a stove, and in my dream, they placed me on a shovel, and my father tried to push me into the fire. The counselor then asked me to imagine myself as a fetus and see what I perceived there. I saw myself inside my mother's womb while my father was abusing her, which indeed had happened. But then I saw Jesus standing between them, protecting me from harm. The counselor encouraged me to go even deeper, and I reached the point where I saw myself curled up with Jesus in the womb, and He was holding me. The counselor then asked me to reflect on the feelings that arose in me in the womb, and what surfaced was a sense of being a burden, of being unwanted and worthless. Later, I asked the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth to me, to replace the lies I had believed. And then, I experienced Jesus rejoicing over me, celebrating my existence. This gave me a newfound freedom and a completely different image of myself—one that uplifted me. Now, I understand why my divorce six years ago was so difficult for me. Deep in my heart, I had a belief that I was unwanted. My ex-husband treated me as if he didn’t want me or respect me. Inside, I felt that this was something I could not allow—that I would not tolerate being cheated on. And my ex-husband simply walked out of my life. I am grateful to God for showing me that Jesus rejoices over me and delights in me.
Participant 15
During the course, I realized that in my childhood, the need to meet expectations was imprinted in my heart as a law. I also believed that the Father only loved me when I did good things, and at other times, He was angry with me. Because of this, I didn't dare to approach Him with a childlike heart. It was a wonderful experience to feel the Father’s love, His embrace, and His invitation—to dare to be His child without feeling the need to earn His approval. He loves me deeply, not because of what I do, but simply because I am His. It was amazing to walk hand in hand with Jesus in the garden and in the church, experiencing the incredible love of the Holy Trinity. All glory and thanks to the Lord!
Participant 16
During the course, I recognized several things that are present in my own life as well—things I thought were fine, but I was mistaken. The teachings helped me understand that, because of the wounds I’ve experienced in life, I had written rules into my heart. These rules caused a lot of conflict, because I believed I was always right. I also recognized the false comforts I had turned to and escaped into, instead of seeking real solutions. Thanks be to God and to the brothers and sisters serving in the course, I also came to understand how I can begin to heal from these things. I received fresh confirmation that the Father is always with us—even when we don’t feel it! God strengthens us in difficulties and never leaves us alone! Thank You, Father! Thank you all as well!
Participant 17
For me, the final teaching was the most profound, because I recognized many things from my own life in it. I also received guidance from God on how to lead our teenage daughter and how not to let others control our lives. I came to understand in my heart that I don’t have to please everyone. The Father’s embrace healed my motherly wounds and the deep pain I experienced five years ago through my teenage daughter. I’m so thankful I was able to take part in the course.
Participant 18
To be honest, during the first few days at home after the course, I had a feeling of longing to go back. The course was good—at times even stirring, in a good way. It shed even more light on the fact that there are indeed serious issues in my life, but the solution lies in maintaining a relationship with God. That’s not an easy task amid the grayness of everyday life, but it’s definitely worth investing the time. I spoke with my mom a few times about the course, and I asked her what kind of wounds I might have experienced while still in the womb. A few things came to her mind, and now I know that those are areas where I still need healing. I arrived at the course in a pretty “messed up” state—honestly, I just kind of stumbled in thinking, “Well, I paid for the course, so I’ll go”—but now I feel clean.
Participant 19
During this course, I realized how deeply I long for the Father’s embrace. I was never truly hugged, never had a pat on the back, and throughout my life, I had to lock my struggles inside myself. I discovered that many wrong rules have been written into my heart. But during the course, the Father embraced me with love and filled the void of what had always been missing in my life. The testimonies touched me deeply, because I saw myself in so many of them. I am the child of a very strict mother who had great difficulty expressing love. I could never live up to her expectations—she often called me imperfect. Because of that, I wrote a rule in my heart: I am not lovable. When I met my husband and felt even a little bit of love from him, I immediately clung to him. But it turned out that his way of loving was just like my mother’s. This man beat me, humiliated me, wouldn’t let me go anywhere, and I had no choice but to obey everything he said. After we divorced, we had to continue living in the same apartment because I didn’t have enough money to pay him out—and during that time, he raped me multiple times. I carried these wounds with me, experiencing them as shame and pain, as if my body didn’t belong to me. I wouldn’t wish these experiences on anyone. It was incredibly difficult to forgive my husband—but I did. During prayer at the course, I experienced that I wasn’t wanted in the womb; I was surrounded by coldness and rejection. But the Father warmed that place—He was there with me, and helped me be born when it was finally safe. At the course, God gave me the motherly embrace I had always longed for, and the gentle looks I never received in my life. At last, I didn’t receive scolding and beatings—but gentleness and love. I also came to understand that my father escaped into work because he couldn’t handle the many difficulties at home. But now I’ve been able to forgive him for not being present in my life.
Participant 20
For me, one of the key realizations was that I need to step out of the world of judgment and unforgiveness into an entirely different world. I came to understand that there is no such thing as perfect justice, and that life is not fair—and with that realization, I was able to step into the world of forgiveness. I was deeply touched by the love that Robert and Vicki shared with each other during the course. I feel that Robert radiates life-wisdom, and I understood that even though the world is unjust, we can still try to make the best of it.
Inner Healing and Deliverance Course - Miercurea Ciuc - February
Participant 1
I have learned a great deal from everyone, but the most important lesson was realizing that we cannot solve everything on our own—we need Jesus Christ to help and transform us. Moving forward, I must continue my journey with Him, because on my own, I am not—and we are not—capable. The hardest part was forgiving myself, as I have committed sins due to the wounds I carry. I had to understand that I do not have to resolve this by my own strength. Perhaps not everything was entirely my fault; rather, life’s circumstances led things to accumulate. I received clarity on this, and I am deeply grateful for all the prayers. I have received far more from this course than I ever expected.
Participant 2
I completed the Philip Course in the fall, and even then, I realized that while I knew many things in my soul, it would be important to put them into action. Before this course, I had already identified certain issues within myself and recognized, on a decision level, the people who had hurt me—people I needed to address in some way. I gained something valuable from every lecture, though I can’t highlight one specific thing. I am a very practical person, and for me, the most impactful part of the course was the pastoral counseling. During that time, I made the decision to forgive two people. On a decision level, it was easy to do, but when it came to forgiving myself, I physically felt as if I was breaking in two. I never imagined that simply saying, I forgive myself, as the counselor instructed, would affect me so deeply. I had never considered that this was something I needed to work on. Now, I feel like I am standing at the beginning of a very difficult journey—one that I will have to face every single day for the rest of my life. But I have made the decision: first and foremost, I must forgive myself. I have also decided that I will no longer blame myself for things I once thought I had to. One of the people I chose to forgive is my sister-in-law, whom I have always felt dislikes and even resents me. I sensed this even before the course and had already resolved that I didn’t want to be in conflict with her. This course reinforced that decision, showing me that it is not worth it—not for me, and certainly not before God.
Participant 3
I had a feeling that something significant would happen during this course. I learned a great deal, and by the end, everything came together. However, the most astonishing realization for me was this: we all know our own past, we are aware of what we have been through, but systematically revisiting it over three or four days—tracing our wounds and identifying when and where we were hurt—was an entirely new experience. Going through my wounds from conception to the present was something I had never done before, and this process brought a major breakthrough for me. I came to understand that dealing with our wounds is often not a matter of emotions but of decision. I had assumed that forgiving my father for the physical abuse I endured would be the hardest thing, but through the teachings, I learned how to do it. When the time came to say aloud that I forgave myself for past events, I nearly broke. It was strange—I wasn’t sick, I wasn’t coughing—but the moment I had to forgive myself, I was suddenly overcome by a coughing fit so intense that I could barely get the words out. The counselor asked if I needed water or anything to help, but I made the decision that I wanted to do this on my own, no matter what was coming over me. Through the coughing, I forced myself to say it. The moment I did, the coughing stopped. I didn’t need water, I didn’t need anything. It was done.
Participant 4
What I appreciated most about the course was the process of uncovering spiritual wounds. It was a relief to finally put a name to something I couldn’t see—only feel. As I sat in my seat listening to the teachings, God revealed to me a profound truth: the one I was most angry with, the one who had caused me the greatest pain in my heart, was Him. Deep down, I had been holding Him responsible for the wounds I suffered in my childhood. But in His love, He gently showed me this truth and lifted the heavy burden I had been carrying for so long. Forgiving wasn’t difficult—it felt like a natural conclusion—because I had already been longing to be free from this weight and to forgive my father. As a child, he was not the role model I needed, and I struggled with that. But I also came to understand him better—given his own difficult background, I see now that it wasn’t easy for him either. I feel like I gained something incredibly valuable. Though I lacked a strong father figure growing up, I have now found a Father in God. And when I become a father myself one day, I trust that He will build in me the image of the father I am meant to be.